Righteousness is of utmost importance, but righteousness is not being a better you for God. God alone is good, God alone is righteous.
All we can do is fellowship with God as he lets us, as he accepts us. Walking with him, in fellowship with him, takes us to the places we need to be. Righteous places.
Life is a grinding lesson. Through friction and fracturing, Solomonic truth seeps into our stiffened brains and hardened hearts. Nothing that we think matters really matters at all. We have to lose stuff in this process. Conceits crumble off us. Cohesiveness is a casualty. Those who don't lose don't learn.
All that does matter is actually knowing Christ, our Savior. Pulling that off means relinquishing all fidelity to anything that had it and ceding it to him.
We have notions--things have to be a certain way, we have to have certain things, we have to have certain experiences.
Our notions are just potions.
What we need is to know him, truly, for what he is, as he is.