Biblical Grounds for Divorce?

Despite what many folk say, according to Jesus Christ (also here, here, and here) there are no affirmative grounds for divorce. 

What Jesus said about marriage is that it is a lifelong covenant that no one should break. Some people will shatter the bond through abandonment and/or adultery, to their shame, but no one is given the grounds by which they can take the initiative to break it because they want it broken. Those that are the victims of a marriage broken by abandonment and/or adultery have some leeway to remarry, those who remarry apart from those exceptions commit adultery.

Biblical conceptions of marriage and divorce are not the same as legal, secular conceptions; therefore, biblical concepts must be applied to legal ones, rather than the other way around.

 
If a supposed Christian has abandoned a spouse, that one should be rebuked and commanded to return to the care his or her spouse. If that one will not return, he or she has proven not only his or her infidelity to a spouse, but to God. Their unwillingness to provide (what marriage is supposed to provide) for their spouse before God makes them worse than an infidel. According to the Word, the Christian abandoned by an infidel, or unbeliever, is free of the bond and can marry again as long as they do so with a believer. 

If a supposed Christian has entered into a sexual relationship with someone in addition to his or her spouse, that one should be rebuked and commanded to cease the adultery. If he or she will not, that one should be excommunicated. The faithful spouse would have the ability to remarry and not be considered an adulterer, nor the cause of adultery. The wronged party, in effect, is given an exception to the adultery clause for remarriage rather than a positive ground for divorce.

The effect of these allowances is an exception to the Lord's adultery clause rather than a ground given to initiate divorce.

If a Christian marriage is broken out of acrimony, or because of irreconcilable differences, or loss of interest, or anything other than abandonment and/or adultery, the parties do not have the right to remarry. To do so would be adultery. We are grown ups with God dwelling inside of us. If we're actually saved we should be able to find the means of getting along with someone else we're going to spend eternity with. Laying down our lives one for another is the stuff of the kingdom, it's certainly the stuff of marriage as well.

I live and am licensed to drive in Pennsylvania. Our traffic laws do not assign anyone the right-of-way on our roads. Instead, our laws are framed as to whom must yield the right-of-way in any circumstance. So in a mishap, no one can claim they had the right-of-way; one can only be assigned blame for failure to yield such. I see the Bible approaching divorce in a similar fashion: it doesn't give anyone the right to divorce a spouse, it gives an exception to the adultery clause for remarriage for those for whom there was a failure by a spouse to yield to the marriage bond. 

So, although there are biblical grounds for remarriage, there really are no grounds for divorce.

The Disaster of Divorce

America's epidemic is not AIDS, nor abortion, nor even pornography, although all are widespread and portend terrible trouble. The most virulent disease in the West is divorce. It only kills a relative few (although some are notable), but it is destroying our culture, and worse, something these other plagues could not— our churches.

The evangelical church has lost her voice and her way in dealing with the dilemma, preferring pop psychology and hedonism to the Bible when it comes to the subject. As long as American Christians, like any other Americans, continue to sell their souls to the demon of happiness and the phantom of self-fulfillment, marriage won't stand a ghost of a chance. Our society and our churches will continue to decay and be nothing but shadows of their former or their possible selves.

The OT allowed divorce on fairly broad grounds. Anything deemed an uncleanness, or indecency, in a wife (only husbands could divorce) by her husband (how objective was that likely to be?) could result in a pink slip and a "seeya." Who would have guessed that in God's sight "you disgust me" was actionable? Paradoxically, this same God who allowed divorce in the Mosaic code, decried it in no uncertain terms through the prophet Malachi! A forked tongue???

In explaining the apparent duplicity, Jesus said it was the hardness of our hearts rather than the softness of God's that inspired that provision.

I've pastored long enough now, and have seen enough marital failures to realize just how right Jesus was: we are terribly hard-hearted, absolutely unwilling to give another person what reasonably could preserve a relationship. Every marriage I've ever seen fail has done so because one or both parties were too hard-hearted to do what had to be done to maintain the marriage. Usually, it's not long at all until such parties are at it again in a new marriage, likely there to see the same result as they did with the one they tossed away.

We're naturally self-centered, self-absorbed, fault-finding, unforgiving, ungracious, uncommitted, and that's just the Prince Charming and Snow Whites among us. Trying to maintain a relationship that requires dedication and sacrifice in the face of such hard-hearted human nature all but dooms the effort to disaster. Nonetheless, God hates divorce! So, the greatest disaster, by far, in Christians divorcing is claiming to follow Jesus while justifying the thing that God said that he hates. 

 

In Light of Grace...

When it comes to getting along with God, grace is all we have going for us. 

Thankfully, God's grace is more than sufficient for that purpose, but should it be perceived as nothing more than a perpetual get out of jail free card? Humans, including Christians, are at least in some respect, nothing more than incessant recidivists. One has to wonder if God, within his gracious heart, doesn't long for more than that. Is grace just another word for him looking past the flawed nature of the creature— an acknowledgment that, that was the best he could do?

The answers to such tough questions may be disturbing to us who have come to depend upon being graded on a curve. Knowing the cut of our own jib, we may feel safer letting such things go unprobed. Put it all down to grace and move on, why pick at scabs? On to the next offense, without so much as a second thought. That appears to be a quick, convenient way to deal with things, and besides, plumbing any further can only reveal nothing but hopeless sludge. Grace is truly all we have going for us.

Yet, the Bible is filled with directives telling us to get our acts together and move on with God: press on, put off, make every effort, guard, stand, fight, don't lose heart, etc, etc, etc. Are those real directives, spoken with the expectation of compliance, or are they just decorative hooks upon which we hang our grace coveralls in the fleeting moments they are not needed? Can God possibly be that lame? No way!

Walking before God takes two legs.

Even though we are hobbled and could get no where by our own efforts, we do not seem to be considered immobile by the God who comes alongside and helps. His Word to us is "move." In light of his indwelling Spirit in the born-again, it is only reasonable to expect a difference in them— in direction, in attitude, in action, in lifestyle. The saved may be excused by God but that doesn't translate into them making excuses before God, and definitely not on his dime. 

So, we must rest in God's mercy all the while moving forward into the holiness of his Spirit.

In light of grace, it's the only sensible thing to do.

The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

When God said, "Don't eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil," do you think he intended to keep humans in ignorance for all eternity? In light of 1 Corinthians 13:12, I believe the correct answer is no. Eventually, had Adam and Eve not eaten the forbidden fruit I think God would have invited them to partake of everything he had. But all things must wait until their time.

For many years, Abram and Sarai were folk indistinguishable from any others alive in their day. Stirred by encounters with the living God, they morphed into people of incredible faith and became Abraham and Sarah. During the process of their growth they kept faith and held out for the promise of God for a very long time against very long odds. At some point in time, anticipation fatigue set in and they became impatient.

The result was Ishmael and blood and warfare that hasn't ended to this day, some 4100+ years later. God wasn't holding out on them, they just needed to hold on to his promise until it was time to fulfill it. God came through soon enough and Isaac became their laughter of joy and heir to future promises which reached all the way to Christ. But, their impatience left a mark thousands of years of history hasn't erased.

Saul, Israel's first king, had nothing going on before God's promise came his way. His complete lack of extraordinariness literally stood head and shoulders above the rest of Israel. Out of the blue, God raised him to a perch he never could have ascended to himself. One would think God asking him to wait for a sacrifice until the prophet, Samuel, showed up wasn't asking all that much, but Saul couldn't restrain himself against the expectation and his fear of others. How sad that turned out for not only him, but for his entire family.

Seldom does our impatience portend the same disasters that these three examples did, but it can. The one who can't wait for the Lord, ends up with an unexpected, unwanted pregnancy, or becomes the drug addict, or the gambler, or the fornicator, or the willful, or the false. What does waiting cost? Hunger, boredom, anxiety, seeming to be a loser? The easiest thing to do is bail out, cash in your chips and follow the expedited, humanly conceived path to "gettin' 'er done." When those chips were the promises of God, you might not ever get the chance to get them back. 

There are many difficulties and obstacles on the path of faith, but the waiting may be the hardest part.

Choose to Believe

"What is it to believe? It is to have such confidence in what the Lord has said that we take Him at His word, simply because He said it." ...Smith Wigglesworth (emphasis mine)

What is it that the Lord wants from people? Nothing more, nothing less than faith. Oh, I know there are other aspects to holiness and righteousness, but at the most basic, the most fundamental, everything comes down to faith. Works never were and never will be the issue. As far as humans are concerned, the only issue that is ultimately determinative with God is faith. 

It was that way in the beginning, it still is that way, and it will be until the end of time when all things are made new.

When Adam and Eve were in the garden, the issue to be decided was not whether or not they would toe the line of obedience, but whether or not they had confidence in what God said— FAITH! To undermine them, the Devil had to first assault the character of God and pull the rug out from under their confidence in his word. That accomplished, disobedience was a foregone conclusion. In fact, it is impossible to remain obedient under testing if one has diminished or no trust in God's character (i.e his name) and his word.

Our moments of trial and ordeal come down, not to our feats, but to our faith. In those times, in the valley of decision, we need to take stock of ourself, even talk to ourself about what we think of God and his word. Unfortunately, when Eve did so, she talked herself clean out of faith! We need to learn from her error and instead choose to believe. That would have made a world of difference for her, it will make an eternal difference for us.

Are Christians Meant to Be Prosperous?

Are Christians meant to be prosperous? It depends on what you mean by prosperity. 

Biblical prosperity does not rely upon our human storehouses (i.e. stocks, bonds, lands, homes, and cash), but rests upon God's storehouse. We may have nothing in ours whereas his is infinitely abundant, not affected at all by the upheavals we experience from time to time in our realm. We don't actually have to have millions in our hand to be in the hand of him who has millions upon millions of anything we could need in his. He knows what we need and he can dispatch it in a timely fashion. 

Now that's a notion of prosperity that is worthy of our trust! And the one we actually need to exercise faith in, particularly if we're to navigate turbulent seas unsunk by the weight of worry or the shock of disappointment. I have seen the faith of enough folks dismantled when their confessions, and their claims, and their commands, and their labored assertions fall to the dust, not even coming close to producing what they were aiming for. 

On the other hand, if we simply trust God's care, we can relax in trouble, put ourself in his hands and get on with what God wants us to get on with. 

Biblical prosperity cannot be measured by worldly standards. God gives according to his standard, not ours. We think we need a bigger barn and we want leeway we can see. God knows we need to follow Christ and live by faith. Desiring God to bless us by worldly standards instead of his is flirting with disaster spiritually. Do we not trust God's judgment, his grace, his character? Just exactly how big is our God, anyhow?

After a spell of leanness, or even in the midst of a storm, we must ask ourselves what kind of people we are. Are we those who are frantic, wasting ourselves desperately rowing against the wind, or are we those who are at rest in Christ? Jesus did what he did in lowly fashion, without the American dream, really, with nothing at all humanly measurable. Can we not do even greater works than he? Prosperity lies in the hand of God which provides what's needed when it's needed.

If you believe that, you truly are prosperous, and in precisely in the way you're meant to be.

What Church Should Be Like

To those of you who may be wondering how what I've been sharing on 1 Corinthians 14 can be implemented in today's church, I'm going to sketch out some clear action points, but first I need to tackle a couple of things that are NOT putting this scripture into practice.

Creating little pigeon-hole jobs or "helpful" little tasks to which the broadest swath of the congregation possible may be recruited to is not putting this passage into practice. That everyone should be active in the body in some way is a biblical concept, but where in the scriptures does it say that the pastor is the one who speaks, conceives the vision for the church, directs everyone else's action and everyone else just helps him or her?

Acts of service cast as helping the preacher (or for more sophisticated congregations, helping the ministry) is not only unscriptural, they're pathetic. 

Most of the attempts I'm familiar with by churches to involve people in ministry actually fall into that variety of thing, basically, top down, "make 'em feel a buy in," "keep 'em busy so they don't cause trouble" manipulations. Is that what the body of Christ is supposed to be about? Why not just pat the good folks on the head, melodiously intone, "good dog," and tell them to be happy handing everyone who walks in a flier about the Great Church Yard Sale.

Plugging people into such jobs by means of giftedness testing is not putting this passage into practice either. I can't even find a whiff in the scriptures to support the practice. It's worldly, developed from psychobabble and secular human resource management. It treats the church as just another organization of people, subject to the same psychosocial manipulation such groupings are, rather than treating it as the Spirit-indwelt body of Christ that it is.

Spiritual giftedness has nothing to do with what you like or dislike, what tasks you're good or bad at, or anything about your track record. It's giftedness from the Spirit, not you! If Christians have no inkling of their spiritual giftedness, it's because they haven't asked God to clarify it, or are insisting upon being something God isn't making them. It does help to be baptized in the Holy Spirit, but if one does what one senses to do in his or her closest moments with Christ, that one will discover what gift he or she is to the body with ease.

Try things while yielded in your heart and mind to God— you'll find your giftings just fine!

Now to those action points I promised...
 

When we come together, i.e. meet as a church, everyone should be able to participate, vocally as well as in cooperative action. Some may have special areas of service; ushering, sound room, nursery, instrumental music, etc., but everyone has the potential and should have the possibility of participating vocally. If our meetings are too large to make that realistic, maybe our meetings are too large. If that is the case, we have to ask ourselves whether it is better to divide and be scriptural in practice, or to cherish egotism and convenience and be too large to act scripturally?

If our meetings are too structured to make this possible, we've bowed down at the idol of order rather than at the feet of Jesus. Believers are not served well by asking nothing of them, allowing little for them to experience or offer, or by encouraging superstition among them by giving them the mere salve of religion. That only allows their hearts to wander, it can't get them where God wants them to be. Flocks belong to God, and the gift of the Holy Spirit that he has supplied to the body must always take precedence over the tastes or conveniences of the undershepherd.

When we come together, anyone, maybe even at anytime, could be inspired by the Holy Spirit to open up his or her mouth and share.

That offering may take the form of a spiritual song (in known or unknown language), it may be something prophetic that instructs, or uncovers, it may be an utterance in a language unknown to the speaker (and anyone else for that matter), or it may be an interpretation of something brought forward in an unknown language. The key point is that in presiding over our gatherings, elders should anticipate that any and every one, not just the preacher, could be used of God to vocally bring forth a message from God for the benefit of all.

People and preachers worry about disorder, and I understand that, but how is enforced silence more spiritual than chaotic participation? Quenching the Spirit, despising prophecy, and limiting anointing are not appropriate responses to the messiness of the Spirit's promptings within the body. Leaders need hearts more like Moses! To lead meetings in a biblical fashion will require some extra effort from elders: they'll need to test everything, they'll need to correct some things, they'll need to simply overlook others and adjust.

Order does not require that everything be planned neatly and tied up in a bow. That probably won't make good television, but really, since when is television "ministry" about anything other than bringing in some outside donations? It likely won't do much for convenience either, but a believer overly concerned about convenience probably isn't really a believer anyhow. Our approach to our meetings should be to be as accommodating and inviting as possible to the Spirit's inspiration throughout the body.

Church meetings are for the body's expression, not just the preacher's. They should be conducted so the body gets to experience and express the Holy Spirit, not so they can watch the preacher do so. This may be a radical concept to you, but read the manual, it's absolutely scriptural. The Bible does not tell us to eagerly quench the Spirit out of fear or for the sake of order, but to eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially prophecy. God hasn't left it up to us to do in church whatever we like, we have instructions from him which tell us what church should be like.

Is your church obeying them?

Addendum: Check out Dr. D's post on John Wimber.

"May I Take Your Order?"

... all things should be done decently and in order.  1 Corinthians 14:40 (ESV)

Today, I align the cross hairs of my hermeneutic scope squarely on the congregation-squelching, Spirit-emasculating, glory-blocking concept of order. Not order as the word itself would mean, but all that which man puts in place in the name of order which only serves to quench the Holy Spirit. That kind of thing is thought good in many quarters, while that which would yield to the Spirit's spontaneous inspiration is called indecent. 

Are we that afraid to follow the Word and let the Spirit direct us?

What was the Apostle Paul calling for in this verse? Orders of Service? Lectionaries, liturgies, and canons? Does it serve as the excuse for minister-orchestrated meetings, for sergeants-at-arms to enforce adherence, or emcees to keep the show moving? I don't think so! Considering that he's spent all of Chapter 14 establishing that a congregational meeting is about participation, not observation, and that more spontaneous than prepared.

Paul attempted to teach a middle road between cacophonous chaos and church mouse quiet. He was promoting the fullest possibility of participation in ministry, without having the loudest or the strongest take over to everyone else's detriment. In other words, our services should be arranged (κατὰ τάξιν), i.e. so ordered, with full participation in view. Participation should be offered in good form (εὐσχημόνως), so decently. Ordered for participation done decently, that's what the Apostle was trying to convey.

Paul was not telling us to substitute the direction of our meetings by the presiding officer for the leading of the Holy Spirit in the congregation.

I'm beginning to wonder whether or not the former is what we're most comfortable with. God in charge means mystery, uncertainty-- the possibilities that our hearts will be laid bare with no place to hide except in the love of Christ. If the Spirit is in charge things might get emotional, might not stay on agenda. We might not get out in time to get a table at our favorite restaurant! 

When the Holy Spirit moves in our meetings and "takes" our order, unlike that favorite restaurant, he's not about to serve our appetites. Rather, he's about to impress his order instead of ours. When he does, his intention is to spontaneously express his manifold grace to the body through the body. So when the Spirit says, "May I take your order?" The correct answer is always, "yes, please do."

The Charismatic Trigger

The Trigger

Those of us in the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement revere the "moving" of the Holy Spirit. Moments where God's presence is palpable, where signs and wonders arise unbidden and lives are transformed in a flash is the chocolate we crave. A chocoholic is not satisfied to wait with baited breath in hopes of the next chance to indulge her taste. She figures out how to ensure a ready supply of her desired confection.

There are all kinds of books, videos, conferences, and training schools advertising their ability to inculcate the necessary skills and understanding to replicate whatever example or model of Spirit visitation they're promoting. In fact, every time so much as a whiff of revival wafts on the air[waves], folk rush to the scent hoping to get a taste of the chocolate. If they're fortunate, they might just get some to take home with them.

Generally, what people learn from such things are techniques, or in other words, works. If they fast for so long or they pray so long, in concert with so many; if they confess all known sin and even the sins of others; if they clean up their acts to such and so a degree; if they begin to do this or that... you get the picture: Spiritual visitation comes in answer to works! What does the Bible say about such a construct? 

You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? Have you suffered so much for nothing—if it really was for nothing? Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?  Galatians 3:1-5

The Galatians didn't do anything in order to prime the pumps of the heavenly anointing. They just believed God's promise. That's the pattern of Abraham, it's the pattern of grace. We keep looking for that ever elusive, ever changing trigger that will launch the next Charismatic tidal wave, and we always end up looking at ourselves for the answer. The truth is that God wants to anoint us, wants to bless us, he promises to do so.

If the target is a new season of the Spirit moving among us, the only trigger that needs to be pulled is the trigger of faith.

The Trigger Finger

...eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy   1 Corinthians 14:1

Christians have different opinions about what's really important in practice. No one could deny the centrality of love, for God, and for each other. Faith is absolutely essential, for whatever is not of faith is sin. Holiness cannot be done without, for without it, no one will see the Lord, (thankfully it's derivative). I wonder why we so rarely give "that which is of the Spirit" (πνευματικός) a seat at the table, despite what the Apostle Paul says about it in the verse above?

"Eager desire" is not even close to describing most Christians pursuit of spiritual things. At best their pursuit is hit and miss, completely negligent, or even purposeful avoidance. Given that, is it really perplexing that God doesn't move in his church the way he once did? Do we even want the Holy Spirit to move amongst us, really?

What is called for, at least according to the Word, is zealousness-- a roiling, boiling, heated passion to see and experience the things Holy Spirit can inspire.

We can't, and we're not meant to, do this alone, as singular entities. The scriptural pattern is zealousness in concert. There were 120 in the upper room, and the verse above is addressed to the church in Corinth. As much as God loves any of us individually, there are promises and experiences in the Holy Spirit he intends for us to realize together.

The expressions, the sensible exertions, the remarkable evidences of the Spirit's presence and activity are not going to rain down on the indifferent, nor drop on the doubtful, nor inspire the insipid. Religion is truly a vain, sickening spectacle. Are we satisfied to go through the motions, and rituals, and lifeless assemblies, when according to the plan, we're meant to experience and demonstrate the very presence of God. 

Faith embraces the promise of God— not one of those hands-on-the-shoulder-dip-inward facsimile hugs, but one of those bear hugs my old friend Demetrius used to lift me off the ground with. We have been promised in the Holy Spirit more than we have let ourselves be satisfied with. We have found comfort in the dull and unchallenging, we've been reticent to leave ourselves behind and launch out in trust in the Spirit. It's time for some passion.

And when faith puts its finger on the Spirit's trigger, it's time to shoot.